Drugs

Dear God,

Why do people take drugs? I mean, I know why people take drugs. I guess for different reasons probably. Most people take drugs because they get a high off of drugs. Well, Jesus, it’s hard to compete with drugs. I mean, people take drugs and they are out of their minds. People kill other people, some people just have “fun” but it’s dangerous God.. but they don’t even see it. They are killing themselves just as much as they are killing others. It’s crushing to see them destroy the lives of those around us. Today, more than ever (it seems anyway) that people are giving up their children. Some in part is natural consequences due to drugs, other times it’s different reasons. I don’t know what people are living for anymore. People can’t find a purpose in this life and they are destroying themselves and others. How can you help us God? How can you help us turn them toward your face?

Seek Wisdom.

²⁰ Wisdom crieth without; she uttereth her voice in the streets:

²¹ She crieth in the chief place of concourse, in the openings of the gates: in the city she uttereth her words, saying,

²² How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity? and the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge?

²³ Turn you at my reproof: behold, I will pour out my spirit unto you, I will make known my words unto you.

²⁴ Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded;

²⁵ But ye have set at nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof:

²⁶ I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh;

²⁷ When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.

²⁸ Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me:

²⁹ For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD:

³⁰ They would none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof.

³¹ Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices.

³² For the turning away of the simple shall slay them, and the prosperity of fools shall destroy them.

³³ But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil.

 

Proverbs 1:20-33

Nine Year Old Diary

Greater and Grander

 

 

     Today, I am going to show to you something personal. Well, it's not personal anymore but at one time, it was very personal and very exciting.

 

 

 

Courtney: 7 days after my 9 birthday.

 

 

I had my friend Jacob come over! he's the most boy I like. He's so cute! I love you. See you later. Bekki hurt her arm! Goodbye Diary.

 

 

My other sweetie came over. His name is Seth. I love you Seth. Love sweetie Seth. Hehehe. bye bye

I like Taylor too!

 

 

This amazes me that at nine years old I had such a mystical world. It's interesting how your thoughts really do shape your life. I remember growing up and comparing and contrasting different boys- and later even men. Apparently, I just loved them all when I was younger- and I suppose when I'm older it's not a whole lot different. I have had to really fine tune myself over the years. What's interesting to me is that I never really described why I like them. I suppose I liked them because they were cute and nice to me. I suppose I also liked them because they liked me (as I heard). So, love is mutual- and interest is mutual. Even a very loveable person can become unlovable if they don't love you back.

 

Yet, when you are younger things just don't seem to click. Your mind is  like a gullible sponge. Every word is engrained into you like the salt in the ocean. It sticks with you, forever.. unless you realize it and can make a change..

 

Think about it ... one thought... that you have thought for a long time. You have no idea where it reall came from, but you think about it a lot and it's not good.

 

What is it? Bondage. You are tied to that one thought.

 

Well, for me, I've been tied to a lot of thoughts before- and they aren't true but I've been thinking about them so long I presume them to be- and I think about them so long- that they become a reality in my mind- but not in actual life.

 

I wish someone would have picked up my 9-12 year old diary and softly spoke wisdom into my heart. I wonder what kind of person I would have grown into being- not on the outside- but on the inside. I wonder how many foolish relationships I could have avoided if I would have understood that I'm not lonely- I am pretty- I don't need someone to "like me" and my parents still love me even if they yell at about things.

 

 

So, although many times are passed that time. I guess I realize where these things came from. It's a state of mind- so I think it's recognizing it and trying to move past it and praying about it.

 

I wish I would have listened to the wisdom my parents gave me instead of pushing it out the window.

 

 

*lesson learned*