You know, it's those moments in life where your head hits the floor- over and over again. The truth is- there is no motivating factor to get work done except just to do it. Lately, I haven't been motivated to do anything except to buy coffee to attempt to help me get through the rigorous work. Well, it seems that if I sit at my computer enough and drink enough coffee, I seem to start getting work done. I always expect to get a lot done- but the truth is sometimes thinking takes the most time of all. I guess I shouldn't be surprised- but sometimes I feel like I don't have time to think about these things- but then again- i don't have much time at all.
Time.
Time.
Time.
It all passes in time.
Well, lately I've been kind of in a weird attitude. I am feeling weird because I found out I have that fibroma on my femural head- and it's painful- but you know- somedays I don't think it's too horrible. I just wish I could work out- I feel like I'm going to gain weight if I don't work out- and it really bothers me so then I don't want to eat- but if I don't eat then I can't focus on my work.
Well, life is just complicated.
Complicated.
Complicated.
Complicated.
It all passes, eventually, in time.
So- I think there is light at the end of the tunnel. At least I hope so. I know that I need to get this work done, but it just feels like everytime I think about it- it's like a brick laid across my chest- and I can't breathe and I can't even do the work- well that's how I feel- and then I feel like I can't do it.
It's the first time I've felt like I can't do this. I don't know why I feel like it.
Too many, expectations.
Expectations.
Expectations.
Expectations.
They all pass, too, in time.
Well, Time complications expectations and expectations complicate time.
But what is it that we all want to pass- the feeling really. The feeling of confusion, of the unknowing, of the feeling that says I can't i can't i can't... that's what it is...
It's the feelings we deal with that- that pushhhhhhhhhhhhhhh us forward
or h-o-l-d-u-s-b-a-c-k..........................
so
Well, I could use some pushing forward right now. I really could. I just have to wait on God- I just don't know what I'm supposed to be doing now.
Life.
Life.
Life.
Time.Complicated.Expectations.Life.
Just a Vessel, an empty Vessel filled with the Holy Spirit. Blessed, free, child of the King.
sayang, just focus forward please, you can do it :) God is with you, i support u :)
ReplyDeleteYessss!!! :) Jesus is the most wonderful of all <3!!!
DeleteOh man, I totally get this! LOL reminds me of our conversation the other day. Coffee always makes my day go better. AND... one.... one of the benefits to milking cows is that it provides me with a LOT of thinking time. I'd probably blow up if I couldn't think things through.
ReplyDeleteThis post is so totally right on.
Lol, I think I blow up because I have TOO much thinking time! hahaha :) :) :)!!!!
DeleteI feel like I'm currently at a crossroad in my life, and I really don't know what decision to make, and I just wish I knew.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I'm currently at a crossroad in my life, and I really don't know what decision to make, and I just wish I knew.
ReplyDeleteSee below :):)!!
DeleteDefinitely. I can relate to that feeling Alex. Although, I once heard one of my pastors talk about faith; and he brought up a point about "What would life be like if we knew everything" and I realized like yeah it's kind of frustrating but kind of exciting when you finally realize what it is that you are to do :)
ReplyDelete