Never Saw it Coming

I never would have saw myself
Sitting here in an office
writing papers..
getting a degree in education.

I never would have saw it
because it wasn't in my plans.
or my dreams.
or my hopes.

Yet, I never would have saw this.
I'm sitting in an office.
An office that has signs labled
"God, Pray, Tell, Give, Peace"
filled with information about God.

I guess I never would have saw myself
Sitting and ministering to a college campus
And as I sit and think about it all
I'm pretty amazed.

I guess I'm not so alone after all.
Even in a building that can feel so empty,
God will send people in at the randomest times.
Like right now, a friend stopped in.
Having people in life makes everything so much more enjoyable.
I don't think I could do all that I do today without God and his wonderful people.

:)

Through you!!!! God :):):)!!!!!

What Happened When I Left a Poem On a Bench

Such an interesting situation

I left a poem on the bench

For someone to read, a particular someone

I wrote about them in my poem

Now I see him, the one I wrote about

Coming close to the bench where I left my poem

My goodness 

I can't believe it

The one I wrote the poem for 

is sitting

right there.

Next to my poem. 

All of a sudden I cant take it any longer

The suspense of wondering

Did He read it?

He's not even looking at it.

He put it beside him.

Now a familiar face wanders near the bench

One I've met before

She has a child

Her child enjoys my dogs 

They visit often

So I think about this all quickly in my head

I want the young man to read my poem

I ponder

.

..

...

Of course

I'll talk to the one I know

the one with the child

in her hands

I walk over awkwardly say hello

and tell her how I wrote a poem

About the young man sitting behind her

Playing Guitar

She says what.?

She clearly doesn't understand

I stumble through my words

But I sound worse and worse

So I decide to excuse myself from the situation

I walk to the young man playing guitar

I look him in the eye

and ask did you read that

He says no, I just set it over here

I say oh okay

Then I stumble on my words and say

Well you are in it

He looks at me confused 

What he asks

I wrote about you in my poem

So you should read it I say

Okay he says

I ask him who he lives with

his family, his host family

He's from Michigan he lives with a host mom and dad

He is here to play for the school of worship

Living Light.

I stand amazed.

My hands violently swing back and my mouth widens in surprise

I'm going there tomorrow!

For the very first time.

I stand in utter .. shock.

Shock.

Good shock.

But shock.

Was this meant to be? 

Apparently because it happened.

Happened all too strangely.

All too wonderfully.

12 years here and I've never met a stranger

Whom I've had the audacity to approach 

And now this stranger that I approach

Is really not a stranger after all. 

Shock. Utter Shock. Reality.

The Place Where I Live 

Glancing around me

I notice the sway of grass

Blowing slightly in the wind

Seven sparrows sitting in a tree

Chirping the evening melodies 

The sturdy maple standing upright

Dark green streaks lining the center of each green leaf

Another maple stands firm in the distance

Topped with cherry red leaves

Beautiful splendor of color

My eyes can scarce take in

I look up again and see the birds

Fluttering around in and out of circles

Until I cannot see them again from my view

These bits of nature are a gift

I didn't ask them to be here 

But they are here for my pleasant delight

Each afternoon 

There's some nature I keep at home

My two white dogs

Eskimos with fluffed hair

Digging holes in the ground

They dig and dig

Dirt flings through the air

Should I yell at them I wonder?

Yet I keep my peace

They didn't ask to live here.

Why don't I yell at the birds of the air I wonder

Or the squirrels running past my gate?

Yet, I am considering to raise my voice to my very own dog.

The one nature did not ask to take home.

So, I'll let them dig. and dig. and dig.

Until, maybe they find their home too. 

A funny coincidence in life 

We want to yell at the things we love best.

Why we demand such extremes from them, 

that nature itself does not request.

Sit back, I say to myself. 

Enjoy the life here, 

for if nature did not bring you here

And there my thoughts violently stop

As I scramble inside the house

to wave my towel at the smoke alarm

begging it to please shut off

My ears now assaulted with highest pitch

I wander outside to watch the sites once again

As soon as I sit down the alarm sounds again

.. happens three times.

Then as I'm frolicking around the house 

Waving my hands in the air like an alien on earth

\[]\

A young man walks through the park 

Behind my house 

With a guitar

Playing melodies

I look at myself 

I look like an alien

That's what I tell myself

So, I join him from far away

as I listen to his music

as he plays so peacefully

Until once again my heart palpitates out of control

to hear the alarm buzzing again.

I pick up the phone 

to yell at my dad for leaving the oven on 

to clean

and clean

while the house smells burnt

He didn't answer

The young man is called Zack. 

I know because his mother called him

He runs back home, down the gravel path. 

Away. 

My neck now hurts, my ears assaulted, my thoughts diminished

Nature can I still look to you

I look around

There's my dogs.

The birds, I see flying from tree to tree.

The geese I hear from far away.

I look to the West to see the sun slowly setting.

Clouds strike the sky with white array. 

My eyes adjust, my head adjusts

Nature you aren't too far away. 

Even So Come

A cool Way to do Multiplication - Waldorf Schools

My Lemon Trees

At the beginning of this summer, my younger friend Courtney & I decided to go to the store.. buy organic lemons.. make delicious lemonade.. and one more step.. grow lemon trees!!! :)
The process is really quite simple. First you need to make sure you have the correct soil- it's a mulchy type of soil- you can find out the right type online if you search on how to grow a lemon tree from a seed.. but basically you are supposed to plant the seed right away.. that means as soon as you take it out of the lemon.. you are supposed to plant it.. but because of the sweet sour flavors the lemon has, you are actually supposed to suck on the seed for a while- and then remove it from your mouth and plant it right into the soil. :)
It takes a little while for a sprout to come up..mine came up within 2 weeks!! Now it's been about 3 months and this beautiful lemon tree has blossomed! :) It's getting too cold out now to leave it outside (I saw a dead leaf fall from it) so I need to bring it in for the Fall/Winter/ & most of Spring time. It's going to be it's first non-summer months ever.. so hopefully it'll last in the house.
I have two large lemon trees growing and the tiny sprout one!!! :)

The Complete Making of Blueberry Rooibos Tea

The Complete Making of Blueberry Rooibos Tea

Elderberries, hibiscus, currant, blueberries

Emits a fragrance sweet and tangy

Berries picked fresh so they can be dried

Delightful berries are these

Loosely blended together as they await in solitude

Until one opens the lid which unleashes the delightful smell

Once again

---

Breathe deeply into the aroma for the second time

As the ingredients are poured into a white filter

Berries fading smell linger there in the filter

Awaiting the adventure that will unleash their fragrant scent

Here comes the pot full of tepid water

Water pours over the four dried berries

The berries once delightful

Now look dreadful

Hot water sears before being unleashed into the filter

Pouring out atop the berries

Water now falls into the pot

---

Alas, the third and final time

Odoriferous heavenly scent embellishes the surrounding air

Elderberries, hibiscus, currant, blueberries

Such sweet aroma mixed complete with sugar

I stand above the pot and breathe again

---I inhale---

 “””””

  ’’’

c(_)

The smell of ambrosial flavors enter into my lungs

Breathing out I reach for the pot

And there I pour my afternoon drink

Elderberries, hibiscus, currant, and blueberries.

 

 

 

This poem I submitted for my poetry class. We are sort of working on writing "externally" so that's what I kind of tried to do.. but I just wrote it up pretty quickly.. let me know what you think. It's kind of different trying to "write" poetry; I usually only write when I'm inspired. 

Come As You Are

:) Thanks to Free Speech

How beautiful is this?
To have a space to write..
that is not infiltrated with things that are not your own. 

I'm happy to have a blog- it reflects my thoughts and a lot of my life.

School is such a riot. I can't believe some of the things they make us read in school and you wonder why the earth is so polluted? I don't understand why we read things that are so horrible. I tell you, English classes can be so disturbing. I wonder why they think it's great to talk about horrible things? Well, all I say is...

3 months. :) YAY!!!

And what's great is that looking back ...

This will all be a memory :)

I guess as I am finishing college now, I can see my mom's request for me going to a Christian college. Yeah, I think that would have been an awesome idea, but I know that God took me down the path he did for a reason. I've had experiences and conversations like no other.. and I can be a light in a dark place- it's really Jesus being the light because without him I'd be as dark as night so I praise Jesus. :)

Clean Mind Clean life

I wanted to tell you something.

When you have a clean mind and a clear mind.. it's so easy to have a clean and clear life.

Let me explain,

This of all should be the busiest time of my life so far- well, it's actually so simply easy I cannot tell you. Now granted, I just started, but still... so easy.

Which leads me to believe this, that when you have a clean mind and a clear mind, you can think easily, respond quickly, and inspire and be inspired greatly. :)

This is just a reminder for those of you out there struggling with the times and craziness of life.. just stop worrying about those things that drive you crazy (worrying doesn't solve anything) and be proactive and productive. DO what you can, but DON'T do what isn't necessary.

Just relax, and trust in the peace of God to cover your mind and heart.

Reflections

People don't always realize when they are in a good place...
Maybe it's because we often are always looking for something better... brighter...
more fulfilling...

It's in human nature.

Looking for a purpose greater than what we are currently involved in..
As humans we are looking for things that drive faster... work better.. produce more.. look prettier..

That's what we are looking for.
Now as I'm writing.. I feel as if I'm having a dejuvu moment- about a time just a bit ago when I wrote about a feeling the same.

When we are experiencing something above elation.. we forget the bad times.. we forget the unruly times.. we forget even the thoughts we were thinking a few seconds prior to our sudden ecstasy. We are fluid beings; beings that are capable of thinking and moving and accomplishing much...

We have things that stop us...
Thoughts...
Addictions...
Hate...
Wealth...
Prejudice...

Lots of things. We get lost. We get confused. We actually do need... a Savior.

The problem with humans is that we're looking for our own personal fulfillment.. but we don't even know what this is... because we don't know ourselves... yeah we don't know ourselves. scary.

The one who made us, the creator, has had his hand on us since the beginning of creation... and knows everything about us.. our desires.. our needs.. our wants.. even...

our purpose.

The purpose.. the purpose of life. That would be nice to know.. only discoverable... by listening to what God's telling you?

So wait, hold up- my purpose isn't the ritual... grow up , learn, get married, start a family, grow old, die? Uhm.. no. I don't think so. And yours isn't either.

Although there are things that are a part of your purpose doesn't make THE purpose or your purpose. So often we look too often upon what we are doing... yet,,, it's not always what we are doing... it's who we are developing to be.......

Okay, so the people I look up to.. in life.. they aren't people who are like amazing dazzling people.. because honestly that just encompasses so little..

The people that I look up to, some are in high positions, some in low.. but regardless.. of it all... it's the words that are spoken to you.. the actions that they have taken toward you.. and the spirit that you are speaking with. So. face. to face. Here we are- speaking in the spirit and the flesh.. yet there's something more that attracts us to people...

There's people who are attracted to people by their looks, their money, their skills, their hobby, their religion, their goodness...

but honestly, there's something that makes people truly worthy... and that's Jesus.

So if you are finding someone, and they are hard to talk to because maybe they aren't all those things.. maybe they need to find Jesus.. because he makes people beautiful, rich in spirit, joyful, helping, kind, purposeful... so. think again.. think some more.. and share the gift that you freely received.

Morning.

Sobering moments by the light of the field
Remembrances that sink deeply into the soul
Calming waves swish over my mind
Good Morning God, Good Morning world.

Did you forget?

Did you forget the things I did for you says the Lord?
Did you forget all the good things I have put in your life?
Did you forget.....

Do you remember that circumstance..?
It was really bad... yet did you see how I blessed you?
Did you see who I brought into your life because of it?
Do you see the compassion that is displayed now because of what I've chosen to do...

With Your Life.


Did you forget my blessing?
Because you gave it away?
You traded it for a birth right...
That was meant to stay.

Does your flesh cry out against you?
That you can't listen to my voice.
Do you not know that you cannot be for one and another.
The Lord Your God is one God...
and Him only shall you serve.

Blessed be the man that walks in uprightness toward God.
Blessed is the man who puts behind the old man
and is Alive in the new life..
Blessed are those that are obedient unto my name.

Bless the Lord Oh, My Soul... Bless the Lord.

SUMMER FREEDOM!!!

HOORAY!!! August 7th....2015.... the last summer.... I'll ever have experienced while I was still in college!!! WOW!!! :) I so cannot believe it!!! It's such an extremely awesome and rewarding feeling. I've spent five years of my life, going to school (and working in between time), but now soon... it will be but a faint memory of hours spent in classrooms.. writing papers... and thinking about how smart you are.. yet now. The time is come- where all is FLUX. :) My performance will no longer be for my own "good" or my own "liking" as far as grades... instead it will be a test of my professionalism and know how. I am destined to mess up- have good days- have learning days-- and be in FLUX- forevermore.
For now, I feel slight certain, that these times are a time of security.. for college.. the worst that can happen.. is possibly an A- or a B... yet.. I don't receive any monetary anything for this work- it's simply for myself for my own professional development.
I feel eager and excited... I have 3 weeks of SUMMER FREEDOM <3 Before journeying back off to school. I'm super excited and happy... however... I am going to enjoy all the challenges that school brings my way this last full semester at school. I'm going to joy in the pains of long papers, tainted sleep, and complaining classmates. I'm going to joy in the hardships of task and labor of work.. of the babbling children and those of interesting comment. Bring it life, for thus is life... in all, in all, is everything. :)

:) ... So now may be the time to create my bucket list.. I only have a few.
*Visit Mary Ellen for a week
*Order all my new textbooks
*Go school shopping
*Get some new tennis shoes...
And enjoy every adventure as it comes. For who knows what the best day is. For a best day is something we decide within ourselves. Perhaps, our best day could be our worst day if we perceive it correctly. Maybe our very sorrows are our real triumphs. Maybe then, today. :) is the day.

Trust & Faith

     There are some days when I am so troubled; I wake up in the middle of the night and I feel as though it is hard for me to breathe. This happened again last night. It had been a while since this episode type occurrence happened. I'd say it was due to the lack of trusting God. For the last week and a half, I think I did a good job listening to God, rejected my sense of self and trusting in whatever he said.

----However, I don't think I did last night. I really didn't have peace and I felt troubled. This just isn't the way one should feel if they are trusting God.

 

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

So, I understand that in this world, I will have tribulation (a cause of great trouble or suffering) but I should be able to be cheerful because God has overcome the world. Maybe that's the whole point then...

Trusting God at all times...

even when things look rough

Even when that "same thing keeps happening" and you don't understand why...

 

Even when life seems so different than usual....

 

Trust God.

 

Last night at Bible Study, one of the girls, Sophie, mentioned about the "tree of knowledge of good and evil". Suddenly, as she was speaking, something occurred to me that I had never thought of before.

.... The thing that we seem to struggle most about.....

 

KNOWING WHY...WHAT...WHEN?!

 

Yet, I feel like part of our wanting to KNOW is what gets us into trouble... I just thought about it like this... Adam and Eve were in the garden... they sinned and they knew "good and evil"... then all of sudden because they knew more then they were supposed to they looked at each other and were ashamed

"WHY ARE WE NAKED?!"

 

-All along, it didn't seem to matter- they didn't know. It was just the way it was... nothing more to it.. Yet when they knew the realm of good.. and also of evil... they saw what could be evil.. and then questioned God...

 

So... the best part of life.... is when we can trust God regardless of what we know or don't know...

 

Then we can surely have peace.





From Spring to Summer

In the Spring, I got a new computer. A desktop in fact- please see the computer box on the bed, haha. I loved it so much because it had been so long since I ever had in my procession.. a desk top.. computer. :)

In the Spring, I finished up my long hours of student teaching... and looked forward to finishing the classes that seemed as if they were never going to end.

 ......................................................................................................................................................................

And NOW... it's summer outside!!! I took this picture today- and as you can see my skin has changed shade since the Spring- not because I'm a hard laborer in the yard (as I wish I could say) but from the leisure days in the pool- sometimes spent doing work of "reading".

I only have... 4 more days left of summer school and ONE more big paper to write for the summer (12 pages...)! And then I'll be all done.... for the summer.

Here's a picture that I water-colored as part of my K-2 Literacy class. We were learning how we should use the same template.. and then the students can fill in the blanks. Here are some of my classmates works of art...

So- you get the idea. These templates make students basically... brilliant without even knowing it. Best of all- you can make a really cool book- or something interesting out of it.

This school semester is going to be the busiest I've ever experienced before (as far as school work). I'm taking ten classes (25 credits) and I got elected as the Vice President of one of Christian organizations on campus- so all the work that entails will surely increase the amount of time spent on task. Besides that, I also need to spend 120 hours teaching in the Fall.. plus 60 hours I have to make up from the summer. *joyous* :) Overall, it will be worth it because I will only have my student teaching then- and then in "essence" I'll experience the easiest, most rewarding school semester ever.. NEXT YEAR! And best of all, my brother will be home!!! <3

. 

Here's a picture from earlier this year. My cutie pie 2nd cousins got to stay a whole week with us. :) It was a wonderful time to have the. Unfortunately, the reason we went down there was because my great Aunt died- however, all is well. :) because she's in a better place....

AND WITHOUT FURTHER ADO... I CANNOT WAIT FOR 2 WEEKS FROM NOW.. when I will get to see my favorite friends in the world! :) <3

Oh yeah!! We got to see a 50's doowop band the other day! It was a blast, unfortunately I don't have any pictures myself- however it was fun- and there was great music! :) Here's one to share in honor of my Auntie that died.!

Emma Jane Austen & Today

Being a woman, who has lived and have seen not anything much new that anyone else who ever lived and have seen before- has allowed me to find the "pleasure" if you may call it such, of having the privilege of having Jane Austen quote a portion of the trials of my mind to the world.

Please enjoy: a portion of Emma - by Jane Austen
& a portion of my feelings.

"A man," said he, "must have a very good opinion of himself when he asks people to leave
their own fireside, and encounter such a day as this, for the sake of coming to see him. He must
think himself a most agreeable fellow; I could not do such a thing. It is the greatest
absurdity—Actually snowing at this moment!— The folly of not allowing people to be
comfortable at home—and the folly of people's not staying comfortably at home when they
can! If we were obliged to go out such an evening as this, by any call of duty or business, what
a hardship we should deem it;—and here are we, probably with rather thinner clothing than
usual, setting forward voluntarily, without excuse, in defiance of the voice of nature, which
tells man, in every thing given to his view or his feelings, to stay at home himself, and keep all
under shelter that he can;—here are we setting forward to spend five dull hours in another
man's house, with nothing to say or to hear that was not said and heard yesterday, and may not
be said and heard again to-morrow. Going in dismal weather, to return probably in
worse;—four horses and four servants taken out for nothing but to convey five idle, shivering
creatures into colder rooms and worse company than they might have had at home"
Emma by Jane Austen p 137 chapter XIII (13)

The Housewife; or The Muse Learning to Ride the Great Horse Heroic. BY: ELIZABETH MOODY

O thou that with deciding voice oft sways
...



DEAR MARY EL.... I can't find an online copy of this and it will take me a while to type out.. but please look this poem up and if you can't find it i'll type it up or take a picture...